Intro: 

Can you describe your love for that special gal in 1 word? Young men, listen. 

Body

When you are dating someone, it is hard to describe them. And 1-word descriptions are nearly impossible. 

And because dating CAN lead to marriage, people actively dating, at any age, need to listen to what the Bible says.

The Bible does have a single word to describe the relationship that SHOULD be between husbands and wives. Ephesians 5:25 speaks of a love that a husband should have for his wife. This love was to be done to the same extent that Jesus loved the church.

In the New Testament, which was written in Greek, there are 3 kinds of love. First there is Eros which is sexual love. Second there is phileo love. It is a love Between Brothers and Best Friends. And then there is agape love. This is a love that incorporates decisions not just feelings. Feelings are allowed but love’s determination is the distinguishing characteristic. 

Great husbands make a DECISION to love their wives. It is not about how attractive she is to him. That tends toward Eros love, and will decrease over time. It is not about her being your best friend. That is phileo love. It is good to have. But husbands should have a more powerful love. He should DECIDE and make a COMMITTMENT to her, and to her alone. This is agape love. It is a love of choice and determination.

How big should this choice and determination be? 

A husband’s choice and determination should be to the same magnitude that Jesus loved His church, his bride. So how did Jesus love the church.?

It was agapa love that caused Jesus to leave the glories of Heaven, the place where we all want to go, to come down here and live on this planet that he had created, along with all the people he had made.

It was Jesus’s agape for you that caused him to leave his eternal form and take on a corruptible, physical body like ours.

It was Jesus’ agape love that demonstrated compassion on lepers; kindness and generosity to the hungry; gentleness to the woman at the well; meekness as he corrected the Pharisees; self-controlled in all threatening situations. 

It was agape love that caused him to stop pleading with the Father of Heaven in the garden of Gethsemane, and DECIDED to follow the Father’s plan. He was CHOOSING to love you to the full extent of life. 

It was his CHOICE to love those who would become His church. He endured the beatings, the mocking, the trials, the nails, and hanging on a cross. That was DETERMINATION to love us. He CHOSE to suffer the end result of your sins and mine.  Each of us should have been on the cross. But because of his agape-love for us, he took our place. And because of his love for you and me, he was resurrected.

All of this put together is what it means when it says “as Christ loved the church” in Ephesians 5:25.

Those of you who are dating, when things begin to get serious, make your choice very carefully. It is the 2nd most important decision you will ever make. Will your wife-to-be help you get to heaven? And once you have DECIDED, make the FULL COMMITMENT to her and her alone, just like Jesus did.

Husbands, today, recommit yourself to loving her with everything you have, and with everything you are, even if it costs you your life.

Let’s finish by reading Ephesians 5:25.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 

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