Valentine’s Thoughts

Intro:
Are you and your husband BFFs? Yes, you heard that right! Best Friends
Forever!

Body:
Valentine’s is the “LOVE” holiday.

But what is love?

The New Testament uses a variety of words that we translate into English as
“LOVE”. Eros” is romantic/erotic love. “Phileo” is brotherly or friendly love.
“Agape” is a kind of love that looks out for someone’s welfare and best
interests.

In Titus 2:4, older Christian women are to “train the younger women to
LOVE their husbands and children.” Which one of the Greek words for
Love is used in this verse? Well, it is “Phileo”. This is being an affectionate
friend, a chum, a pal and partner.

We older women are to teach younger women how to develop warm and
friendly relationships within the family, both with their husbands AND with
their children.

So, younger ladies, just HOW do you cultivate this best- friend relationship
with your husband?

There is a Native American tale that illustrates how this can be done. An
old man was teaching his grandson about making good decisions. He told
him that inside of him were two wolves, a good wolf and a bad wolf. These
wolves would often fight one another. The boy asked his grandpa, “Which
one wins?” The old man answered, “The one I feed.”
A good relationship with your husband is one that you must feed.

Yes, its important to have eros, or romantic love in the marriage…but over time and
with age…this physical attraction fades. Agape love watches out for his well-being and best interests. However, it is not deeply satisfying, because it is
a mental choice type of love. But phileo is that nurturing and soul-filling
relationship that makes a person happy.

How can you feed this? Here are six tips.

First, spend time with him, doing things you both enjoy. Early in our
marriage, my husband bought a motorcycle and I decided to be brave and
venture out with him on it. Several motorbikes and years later, we still enjoy
short and long-distance trips. More recently we have enjoyed growing a
garden together.

Second, be a good listener and confidence keeper. Your husband should
feel completely safe with you. That you would never plot to hurt him in any
way. Build that trust!

Third, give your husband the benefit of the doubt. Proverbs 16:28 says “A
perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”.
Snuff out any gossip you hear about your husband immediately. You would
expect him to give you the benefit of the doubt. Do it for him.

Fourth, be kind! Give criticism very sparingly, and when you do, be careful
with your words. You can’t ever take them back once they are given.

Fifth, forgive quickly! Don’t keep a list of wrongs. I Corinthians 13:4-6 says
“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps
no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Sixth, never go to bed angry. Ephesians 4:26,27 “Do not let the sun go
down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.” If you
give the devil a foothold, guess what, you are feeding the wrong wolf.

Here at TimelessTalks.net, you will find other resources that will help you
build a good marriage. 

And I hope you have a very Happy Valentine’s Day!